Talking to Strangers: The Disciple Maker's Walk

When I was young, I often went fishing with my dad. We had a lot of fun and caught many fish together. However, in our many days of fishing, there is one thing we never did. We never caught a fish by accident. Not one ever jumped in the boat.

Likewise, you will never start a D-Group by accident. You must be intentional about fishing for people to be in your group. Fishing calls for patience and persistent. Fish don’t always bite easily. You will cast your bait and bring it in empty more times than you will catch a fish, but good fishermen are not easily discouraged. They keep on fishing until they catch some. The good thing about starting a D-Group is that you only need two or three people to get started.

CHOOSING A D-GROUP MUST BE INTENTIONAL

There are some important lessons to learn from Jesus about choosing your D-Group. First, understand the importance of prayer. Jesus went up on a mountain to pray before He called His disciples. The Bible says, "In these days He went out to the mountain to pray, and all night He continued in prayer to God. And when day came, He called His disciples and chose from them twelve, whom He named apostles" (Luke 6:12-13). Jesus made choosing His D-Group a matter of fervent prayer. He spent an entire night praying for God to show Him who He should invite to be in His D-Group. 

You don't need to ask God “if” He wants you to make disciples. Jesus has already commanded you to make disciples. The prayer you must pray is: “Lord, who? Who do you want me to ask to join in my D-Group?” This is a very important first step. Don’t skip it. As you pray, Jesus may show you someone to ask that you may have never thought of on your own.

Second, understand the impact of hospitality. In the New Testament, the Greek word for “hospitality” is philozenia. It comes from two Greek words--philos, meaning “affection” or “brotherly love” and zenos, meaning “stranger.” Hospitality in the Bible literally means, “to show love to a stranger.” The writer of Hebrews said, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers” (Hebrews 3:2a). 

Talking to strangers is an essential requirement for making disciples. Since unbelievers today are less willing to come to our turf, we must learn to play on theirs. A key to this is practicing biblical hospitality. David Mathis, Executive Editor for “Desiring God,” says that Christian hospitality involves “welcoming unbelievers into our space, in hopes of bringing Jesus into theirs" (David Mathis, “Hospitality and the Great Commission.” Desiring God, October 2, 2012).

By showing hospitality to a stranger today, it may open the door to invite him or her to join your D-Group tomorrow. Christian hospitality can become the open door for neighbors, classmates, work acquaintances, people you meet at the ballpark, and other public places to be those whom you have the joy of discipling and leading into a deeper relationship with Christ.

Third, understand the initiative of leadership. After praying and showing genuine expressions of hospitality, you must take the initiative to act on God’s leadership. Meet face to face with those whom God wants you to disciple and ask them to join in your D-Group. Explain to them that D-Groups fellowship together weekly, read and discuss the Bible together, and do ministry together. Don’t be afraid to ask them to make a commitment to the group. At this point, you are not inviting them to attend a church. You are simply inviting them to come hang out with you and some friends as you walk through the Bible together.

Many Christians are like Barney Fife, the deputy sheriff we came to know and love from the “Andy Griffith Show.” Barney was allowed to have only one bullet in his gun. Likewise, many Christians have only one bullet. From time to time, they invite someone to come visit their church. However, when those they invite say they go to another church, their one bullet has been used. Because they don’t want to “proselyte” them, they feel they can’t ask them again.

As a disciple maker, you don’t have just one bullet. Remember, you are not inviting people to come to your church. You are inviting them to come hang out with you. Let them know that your purpose is not to proselyte them, but to walk through the Bible with them. What you may discover is that they are not really active at another church but only attend at Easter and Christmas. Those you will want to invite to come to your church. You may also discover that they have never been saved, and you can lead them to Christ. However, if they really are active at another church, then don’t proselyte them. Train them how to make disciples and multiply them out to lead their own D-Group. Most churches don’t have a multiplying process of discipleship and you will be training a disciple maker for them. Never assume that just because others tell you they go to church that they are genuine followers of Christ. Continue to encourage them to join in your D-Group until you know where they are in their spiritual lives.

Remember, fish don’t always bite easily. Don’t get discouraged when you cast out the bait and bring it back empty. You must keep casting out the bait to catch a fish. 

CONNECTING WITH YOUR D-GROUP WILL BE IMPERATIVE

After choosing a small group to disciple, you must connect with them weekly. The Bible says that Jesus “appointed twelve so that they might be with Him" (Mark 3:14). He simply called them to “be with Him.” You cannot disciple others apart from intimate fellowship with them. Remember that you can meet anytime and anywhere. The important thing is that you meet regularly.

Job constraints may prohibit some from attending weekly. In such cases, encourage attendance as much as possible. Touch base with these individuals often to share prayer requests and to hold them accountable in their daily Bible reading.

During the summer months, do not shut down your group. If even one or two are available, meet with them. Even when you cannot meet, keep in touch with your group during the summer months and holiday seasons. Consistency is essential.

CHARACTERISTICS OF YOUR D-GROUP WILL BE IMPORTANT
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When you begin to pray about people to invite to join your D-Group, there are some important group characteristics to keep in mind. You only have so much time to give to your D-Group and you want to invest your time wisely. Choose your D-Group carefully.

First, you want a diverse group. One thing you notice about the group of disciples whom Jesus called is their diversity. His group included four fishermen, a government worker who collected taxes for Rome, and a political revolutionary who hated tax collectors, to name a few. When He first called them, we don’t even know if they were true believers or not. Judas never did become a true believer and eventually betrayed Him. Nevertheless, we learn from Jesus that diversity in our D-Groups is important. The more diversity you have in your group, the more dynamic it will be. 

You want to have mature believers in your D-Group. You want to have at least one or two others who can help you lead the group, and who can be prepared to lead a new group when it’s time to multiply. Since our goal is to multiply new D-Groups, you always want to have someone that you are equipping to lead. It’s also good to have someone who can lead the group when you must be away.

You also want to have new believers in your D-Group. New believers are hungry for God’s Word and eager to learn from mature believers. They add value and a great sense of purpose to your group. When a new believer immediately connects with a D-Group, it is one of the most effective ways for him or her to experience great spiritual growth.

You also want to have unbelievers in your D-Group. Think outside the walls of your church. There are many lost and unchurched individuals who are seeking answers to life. They might be more than willing to join a small group meeting in a home or coffee shop where they can discuss the Bible and find fellowship. It’s very likely that a lost person will be led to faith in Christ and eventually connect with the church through the fellowship and witness of a D-Group.

You also want to have multigenerational believers in your D-Group. In the Bible, Paul instructed his disciple Titus to be intentional about multigenerational discipleship. Paul said that the older men and women should intentionally disciple the younger men and women (Titus 2:1-11). Just as the early church practiced multi-generational discipleship, so must we. Senior adults are one of the greatest resources for disciple-making in the church today. We must intentionally involve them in our D-Groups. Strive for a multigenerational group.

In one of my first D-Groups, I had a young new believer in my group and a retired pastor. I watched the bond between them grow. I was the leader of the group, but every time the retired pastor would speak, the new believer would lean in to hear every word. Multigenerational discipleship is a beautiful and powerful thing.

Remember, the more diversity you have in your group, the more dynamic it will be. Work hard and be intentional in creating diversity in your group.

Second, you want a defective group. The disciples whom Jesus called had issues. They had all kinds of issues such as anger, pride, fear, and doubt. Likewise, you want to disciple people who have issues. It's not hard to find people with issues. There are people all around you who are battling addiction, anger, pornography, depression, greed, and sexual identity issues. They need someone to come alongside them with prayer and loving spiritual accountability. 

In many ways we are all defective because we all have issues. It is through the caring, relational environment of a D-Group that we can grow to become more like Jesus. Radical transformation can and will occur through the loving accountability of biblical discipleship.

Third, you want a dedicated group. When you look for people to disciple, you want to find people who will be committed. Again, you only have so much time to give to your D-Group, and you want to make a wise investment of your time. You must be highly committed to your group and you must expect the same from them. Encourage those in your group to let you know in advance when they will not be able to meet. When someone is unexpectedly absent, contact him or her promptly. Make regular use of texts, emails, and phone calls to encourage dedication and commitment. Loving accountability is a vital key to building commitment. The first disciples left their fishing nets, their boats, and even their fathers to follow after Jesus (Mark 1:16-20). They were dedicated. Likewise, we must be dedicated disciple-makers. The rewards of our labor will be great. 
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Linda was a regular person with a very kind and sweet spirit. Being a woman of faith, she stepped out to lead a group and began to pray about whom she should ask. The Lord placed on her heart a neighbor who was unchurched. Her neighbor and a few other women joined in Linda’s D-Group. After a few weeks of meeting together, Linda’s unchurched friend said to the group, “I don’t have what you ladies have. Could you tell me how to be saved?” Linda shared the good news of Christ with her, and she put her faith in Him for salvation. Immediately afterward, she said, “I have two daughters at home that have never heard this. If I go get them right now will you share this with them?” She went to get her daughters and quickly brought them to Linda’s house to hear the Gospel. That night, both of her daughters also put their faith in Christ. A few weeks later, I had the joy of baptizing all three of them at our church. The very first contact they had with our church was in the home of a disciple-maker named Linda.

This is the power of disciple-making. I encourage you to step out in faith like Linda and begin leading a D-Group. Remember, you don’t need permission to do the Great Commission.

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